Mickey Ain't MY Friend

It’s been quite some time since my last post, I know. But sometimes life just isn’t that interesting and writing about household chores, the daily grind at work or washing my car just doesn’t make for very interesting reading.

But alas, I have an interesting topic to bring forth. Interesting to you, absolutely appalling to me.

We have mice. Not mouse, mice. See, last Wednesday Bas called me at work and told me that he saw two mice in the house. One in the kitchen, one in the living room. That absolutely creeps me out. I got goose bumps listening to him describe this unfortunate situation. I’m pretty much just like an elephant when it comes to rodents, I don’t want them anywhere near me. My mom hates them even more. She can’t stand squirrels, hamsters, guinea pigs or pretty much anything that is smaller than a cat and furry. Shoot, she hates cats too.
So, by the time I had gotten home from work, Bas told me he was at least able to catch one of the disease-ridden sons–of-bitches. But then there was still one on the loose. One more to catch…..bad, but not the worst.
Hold up. Let me just go ahead and break this shit down rather than trying to create a build up here ……in the last week, Bas and I caught six mice in our house. Six. Four more than we originally thought was there.
I know. Disgusting.
And to this day, there is definitely still at least one left because I saw it in the kitchen last night.
It’s funny because we kept saying (after catching each one, “Yeah…that’s the last one!” (High-Five)
Then we would see another. And another. And another…….
Slowly, we came to the horrible realization that there is a female mouse that had babies and now these little pricks seem to be grown enough to explore the vast new world, being OUR home.

I called my mom and she suggested we go get some traps from the store, put peanut butter on then and catch those bastards that way. So, we high-tailed (get it, tailed...like a mouse has a tail? He he) it to Lowe’s and got some glue traps and a few of those old-fashioned traps the SNAP the backs of those jokers in half.
Hey, I don’t give a damn about any rodent. I wouldn’t kill them if they were outside but if they come in my house, “Your Ass Is Done!” I have no sympathy whatsoever. If that makes me an evil animal killer, so be it. Let PETA picket outside my door or splash me with paint. I DON’T CARE!
So, on Thursday Bas had caught another while I was at work.
Then we had Ean this weekend and we took him to the children’s museum on Saturday but we wanted to try to catch the little assholes while we were out. So, we began our strategy for this full-on “battle” with the glue traps. We slapped some peanut butter on them like mom suggested and put a few down in our bedroom and a couple in the kitchen. Then we left the house for a few hours.
As soon as we came home, one of them was stuck to the glue trap whining like a bitch (high-five).
Stupidly, we thought that was “the last one” but decided to put down another trap…”just in case.” We settled down for the evening after dinner to watch some TV and set Ean up in the bedroom with his DVD he picked out at Hollywood Video. Finding Nemo.
About two hours later, our little boy comes running out of the room huffing and puffing. He said, (while hyper-ventilating) “Daddy, Daddy, Danielle there’s a mouse! He came out, he’s there. He’s there! Come look. Daddy come see!” He was so cute. And sure enough…..another one. Sticking to the glue trap (high five).
Now that MUST be it, right? There can’t possibly be anymore. Nah.
Bas and I were in the kitchen on Sunday doing the dishes and along come another. We jumped……and it jumped……behind the oven. So, we calmly put another trap in the kitchen and continued the dishes. By this time, it was getting to be routine. And while the dishwasher was open I guess that’s when that little monster thought he should make his move to get out of the kitchen and we saw his ass run down the hall and out into the living room. Bas and I tore the living room apart. Blocking the doors, pulling up the rug, moving the couch and the chairs. Trying to corner him. Cute little Ean was sitting up on the chair the whole time with his feet off the ground and just enjoying the excitement. Cheering us on, but careful to stay out of the way. Finally after about ten minutes of running back and forth and screaming like two fools, Bas caught that sucker under a pot top and threw him out the window (high five).
I’m not even gonna say it this time because we didn’t think it. We knew there were probably more. And there were.

That night I was awoken by mouse-like noises and I turned on the light next to my bed. And what do I see? Another one. Chewing on the bedroom door with a pile of paint chips in front of him. I jumped up and it ran into the closet. I closed the closet door and went back to sleep, eventually. The next morning I dropped a glue trap in the closet and left for work. When we came home that afternoon, it was stuck to the trap. (no high five, we’re getting sick of this crap already)

Then that brings us to last night. The one in the kitchen. I was getting a soda and there it was. And this one also jumped behind the oven. We put down the old-fashioned traps because that’s all we have left and hopes it would be SNAPPED! last night, this morning, or while we were at work.
I just talked to Bas who is home from work and there is no mouse on the trap. Those traps suck! Give me those glue ones any day.
I called the landlord last night and she said the building manager will come and hopefully solve this problem. My dad said if there is a nest in or near the house, the problem will happen again because mice give birth every 21 days. Arrrrrggggghhhhhh! I can’t live like this.
The cleaning ladies came yesterday and our house is completely spotless with a filthy mouse running around in it. It just doesn’t seem right.
The building manager better get this under control. No, not under control, erradicated is more like it! The entire building probably has to be fumigated, or whatever it is they do to get rid of mice. We live on the first floor, so I think they are coming up from the basement. Or maybe they are living in the walls. I just don’t know the habits of these creatures, so I need a professional to take care of it.
Oh, where are good old days when we lived in Harlem and there were rats on the streets? As gross as those thick-tailed mothers were, at least they never came into the house.
In Florida, not many people deal with rodents in their homes. My mom said in the 26 years of living in their house they only had one mouse. They killed his ass on the old-fashioned trap (with some peanut butter) and that was the end of it. Instead ants are the big problem there. But those ain't no thang compared to mice.
These living conditions I’m dealing with here "up north" is for the birds……..or should I say...........the mice?